??

Feeling nak tulis dalam bahasa melayu aku yang sarap nie.... haha

Entah aper benda da rasuk dalam badan aku pun aku tak tau. Otak da lari agaknya. Itu tak kena, ini tak kena... Bak kata, semua bendalah tak kena. Nak kata pre menstrual sydnrome.. tak pulak... ntah2 post menstrual syndrom tak?? Ader ke?? Yang aku tahu post natal syndrome tu aderlah... uiks!! haha... Fikirkan balik.. kesian sayang aku .. tak buat salah pun kena marah... buat salah.. lagi buruk padahnya... Aku rasa dia terpaksa lah sabar ngan karenah aku...

Feeling emo sangat lah aku nie... Kater org.. makin tua makin relaks.. yang aku lak makin tua makin menjadi lak emo aku...duh...( sampai sini jer lah melayu aku)

Reflecting back on my life.. I can't help but have this feeling that I'm a failure,(personal life) though I have everything currently.. Stable job, my own vehicles, my parents and someone who loves me.... I'm not afraid to admit this... I made lotsa mistakes throughout my journey in search for someone.. Mistakes that can never be erased from my memories...Even though sometimes I tried not to think about all the hurt the others caused me and the hurt that I've caused others, it just keeps coming back. To forgive is easy.. to forget.. Its hard.. At times I wish to thank those who have hurt me cos without them, I would have never learnt from my lessons. Whether to the persons that I've caused hurt has forgiven me, I jus hope they do.... I'm only human and I make mistakes.

Guess it happens to everyone at one point of their life or another. At one point of time, we are jus like the eagle.. soaring up high in the sky.. and when suddenly things took for a change and we lost our ability to fly.. Hopes, dreams.. all come crashing... shattered. Just like that. The lessons that I've learnt, have refrained me from having too high hopes. Not daring to dream so far ahead, cos this time round, once I tumble.. I will not know how to climb up again..

The hurt that I've went thru affects me presently somehow or rather as much I do not wish it to. And when it affects me.. It indirectly will affect my thinking of the other person. I jolly well know that each and every individual is different.. and the past is the past... But my past is something that I can't get over ...

I am grateful to the ONE for giving me a chance to live my life..To continue this journey of mine.. till when.. that is up to HIM.

ps: Love, I'm thankful that HE made you came into my life... and I pray that it will stay that way.... although I know that one day HE will take you away from me...

posted by DeViLiCiOuS @ Monday, November 21, 2005